tarot cards.

I have rituals I have to do before I paint otherwise I cannot create (my friend laughs at these rituals and says that I need therapy.) I cannot paint until I first clean up my studio. By cleaning I mean I have to clean off both my counter and sink by scrubbing them thoroughly with ammonia---If I don't have ammonia I cant paint, Lysol doesn't count. (I have driven at three am to 7-11 to buy ammonia because I needed to start working for a deadline.) I cannot paint in shorts but only in jeans or green camo pants. I can't paint if I have a logo on my shirt as it distracts me (only heines white v-necks) . In addition I also have to have incense burning as I paint as it helps me focus on my work.

I went to buy more incense today and there was a tarot card reader at the store. I decided out of curiosity to have my cards read...I did it once before in my life and got scared as the devil card came up first! I sat down and shuffled and the first card that came up was Death! The Death card actually has to do with transformation and leaving an old world behind. I dont wish to bore you with details but I found the reading very accurate. I study a lot of quantum physics so my mind has learned to accept a lot of things about reality that cannot rationally be explained. At the same time I am afraid of anything occult because I like to keep my karma and my sink clean.

the chicken and the egg

I grew up on a farm in Texas and a farm has a way of teaching you at an early age about life and death. I vividly remember seeing a neighbors pig that was shot, hung from a chain and slaughtered. In addition I remember going on a solo journey to the back of the farm to see a chicken that had been killed . I guess a farm gives you a kind of Darwinian view on life (and death) I like animals a lot but would sooner become a human rights worker than an animal rights worker. Ever since childhood I have always held an artistic fascination with eggs and chickens . I have since had chickens at various times in my life and find exotic chickens to be amazing creatures. As I child I would gather the eggs from the chickens and found it magical that you could go to the chicken in the morning and find an egg or many eggs. In Renaissance art the egg symbolized resurrection. I am not sure about the symbolic meaning of the chicken.

ophelia study

Here is a study for my glass piece known as Ophelia. I am re-carving her this week for a miami art gallery. This week I will also finish The Media Apostles (last supper), the meal has grown a bit cold so I will warm up the meal in the microwave of genius which is a useless appliance without hard work, courage, and constant dedication to the craft of making art. Now that someone has been commenting about my grammar and punctuation I care less about it and find myself even more focused on making art that will stand the test of time and not be lost among the slop of modernism or empty but well punctuated grammar or purposeless prose. -- They have discovered dali's DNA on hospital feeding tubes so I am very happy about that odd fact!

web designer

Alex needs a web designer in new york area! anyone interested please contact me at alexgardega@gmail.com. I need someone to update a site, not build a new one so it should be fairly painless.

b. franklin stamp

Here is my ben franklin stamp...you must remember it is only 8 inches high, so there are some things I would do differently if I could have made it even 16 inches high. Adding detail in glass is an inverse square law in that when you make something smaller you lose a proportional amount of detail. I am tempted to make a large one of these for my own collection.

artist of the day---ralph steadman

In the elite art world there is a bit of a stigma against an artist who is known for their illustrative work. By this I mean work for hire as in book cover art and other commercial work. One of my favorite artists on any level (fine or illustrative) is the british artist Ralph Steadman. Ralph is most famous for the"gonzo" illustrations he did for hunter s thompson's fear and loathing book. He is a groundbreaking and influential genius and a real interesting person to boot. ( I met him twice in NYC.) You can view his website at this link...

click here

wine glasses

you will be impressed

my early works

I drew this at age seven. Needless to say, my Texas elementary teachers did not understand me or my art. They could not identify the faint wiff of genius that emanated from the ever-flowing pencil of gardega.

Do as much as possible, and talk of yourself as little as possible.
Sallust

I guess I have failed! (at least on one front)

coney Island

I painted this for a book cover years ago. It is a fall scene of Coney Island. I have been to Coney Island twice and it is a great place to visit. Finding this painting makes me want to return. If anyone wants to buy this I am selling it for $150.00. Painting in a circle was required by the company but I really enjoyed working in a circle as I often run in circles.

peter gabriel.

I paint to peter gabriel's music 90 % of the time and I always have since I first found his music in 1985. It doesn't take you out of the space of your work but instead helps me to focus on my work and supplies much needed inspiration when it gets rough at the old easel. I swear I would be a lesser artist if not for his music---maybe I would drive a milk truck.

anyone who could scribble out the following words cant be all bad...

I woke up and the world outside was dark
All so quiet before the dawn
Opened up the door and walked outside
The ground was cold

I walked until I couldnt walk anymore
To a place Id never been
There was something stirring in the air
In front of me, I could see

More than this
More than this
So much more than this
There is something else there
When all that you had has all gone
And more than this
I stand
Feeling so connected
And Im all there
Right next to you

It started when I saw the ship go down
I saw them struggle in the sea
And suddenly the picture disappears
In front of me

Now were busy making all our busy plans
On foundations built to last
But nothing fades as fast as the future
And nothing clings like the past, until we can see

More than this
More than this
So much more than this
There is something out there
More than this
Its coming through
And more than this
I stand alone and so connected
And Im all there
Right next to you

Oh then its alright
When with every day another bit falls away
Oh but its still alright, alright, alright
And like words together we can make some sense

Much more than this
Way beyond imagination
Much more than this
Beyond the stars
With my head so full
So full of fractured pictures
And Im all there
Right next to you
So much more than this
There is something else there
When all that you had has all gone
And more than this
Im alone
Feeling so connected
And Im all there right next to you

More than this
More than this
More than this

my friend's book

A long time friend of mine by the name of Mark Gehrke wrote a great book about kayaking Long Island harbors. I bought the book from my local kayak shop and keep it in my kayak with me. It is a great read and offers a zen approach to paddling. (A great escape and guide book as well.) The more you read it your realize it transcends a mere paddling guide and offers a lot of spiritual incite into the psyche and one man's attempt to arc weld his soul seamlessly with nature. I will post a link to website soon as well. If anyone wants the book you can get it at many kayak shops on long island or email me and I will get you more exact info. As we grow older we increasingly spin in our own orbits so it is nice to touch base with old friends.

deadline

I made my deadline and the client loved the pieces. I will upload photos today. I really care about my clients opinion of the work and I am really happy when they seem to like or get the art I gave them. I am not handing off wallpaper but rather something I take very personally. I learned a lot from this stamp job, the main thing I learned is that I have been making art for so long that it is impossible to make exact copies of anything, they always become a gardega. My client made a note that he really liked that I put my own twist on the stamps to some degree, It was not intentional but rather unconscious action. I added a very slight surrealism to each piece that kind of just crept out of me. The fact that my client "got that" made up for three days of no sleep. On the drive home I enjoyed long island traffic for three hours but I was too tired to stress about it. I will post pictures today. I cant believe I survived that week. It is six AM on saturday and time to get back to my last supper painting.

work space

This is my desk after two days of no sleep. I finished the layout on final piece at 8 Am this morning. I will now drive into brooklyn to carve the final three pieces by five pm. My client saw my photos and is very pleased. I am planning a trip on Saturday to Met to see Rembrandt show so I can decompress. Anyone want to get three or thirty drinks after?

tracing

the first email I get can have this tracing if you wish..I aways like to see who is reading my gibberish. You can tell your friends that the glass piece I drew this for is proudly displayed in the Pennsylvania philatelic society...philatelic is code word for stamp collectors... I am tired and going out for a drink before I start my second all nighter.

sketches

I f anyone wants my original (tracings) of my stamp designs just email me and send me a sase. I usually throw away my tracings but these are very cool and I wont charge for them...NO SASE-- NO TRACINGS..I will post them up on saturday..

alexgardega@gmail.com

Avant Gallery

I will have some glass pieces for sale at the opening of Avant Gallery in miami beach in the first week of dec. I will be down there for the entire week, so any florida collectors can join me for drinks and I can get you on the list. Miami galleries have their own special styles so I think my classical surrealism and oil paintings will stay in my New York galleries. I will be carving some new glass pieces for the opening and look forward to my first break away from NY in a long time. I am sure it will be a truly surreal miami affair. I am looking forward to art basel as well.

car window

Here is a snapshot out of my car window near my brooklyn studio. In my life I have had so many studios in so many areas but many were in gritty urban areas and in warehouses etc. I think a feel for the streets and the urban side of life really seeps into your soul and eventually into your art. My art is not urbane in nature but you get a feel for people from spending time in such places and it affects you. I have spent much time on the streets of brooklyn and I have a lot of affinity for the place. Now back to art.

brooklyn woman

I don't think it is fair to over- manipulate your photos after you take them. I like my photos like the street, raw and real. In my fine art I am drawn to the classical but in photos I like raw humanity. I guess if someone comments that it is blurry then the point is missed.

brooklyn folks

I like to take a break from art sometimes and grab my trusty digital camera and point it around. I really get a kick out of the characters I see in brooklyn. I took this in color and changed it to black and white..I liked the color of the cotton candy but I decided to change it to black and white and I am not sure why...I usually get loopy after about 15 hours of work so I need to goof around and upload some snapshots.

to annie nomus

Being literate will not do anyone any good if what you write does not have soul to it...I would rather read illiterate scribblings on a brooklyn bathroom wall (as I did today) than well crafted and grammatically correct prose that has no life behind it . Grammar can be taught, soul cannot. It is the message that matters in the end. Young artists and inexperienced artists often hide in technique because they haven't figured out their own artistic soul. Technique without life is a tree that blocks the view of a greater forest. You should start your own blog and show people that you are good at technical things like grammar! Dali mixed three languages into a jumbled mess and I wouldn't mind reading his daily dribble. I am glad you find my work worthy of your daily comments, thanks.

twenty four cent stamp...

This project has helped me realize how much I like old American design and Americana, Alex will start using (stealing) inspiration from Americana for his next works...

more soon

Blogger is having problems uploading images add more in a few...

eagle stamp

Here is another stamp--these are very small--- they all fall on a piece of glass that is ten by ten inches so the images are around eight inches or so...detail is really tough to deal with at that size so you do all you can to make it work.

update on stamps

grammar

I am aware my that grammar and punctuation is often weak as I give it the least amount of thought.. . I often find that blogs/sites that read with all the excitement of cereal ingredients are well punctuated and have good grammar. Good punctuation and boring content is like toast without butter-- dry and crusty. back to work.

seven AM

I have etched three pieces and have laid out three more overnight that I will etch today...I think I may have saved myself by working all night in order to make friday's deadline...If I have equipment issues that will be another matter.

5 AM

Here is my desk and the glass carving layouts that I am working on..the complexity is beyond anything I have ever dealt with. It is causing my stomach to churn.

stamps

I am buried in glass stamps and will emerge soon. Up at two AM and then I drive to Brooklyn each day. I pray the god's of equipment will not fail me as my deadline is 5pm friday...This is my hardest deadline in 15 years without even having to really look back and think about it....I may not even be able to photograph the pieces..will try my best to do so.

artist of the day

I always will believe that charles schulz, the creator of the peanuts comic is one of the great geniuses of our time. Peanuts was / is a very complex strip that has so many levels to it. It is so popular because there is something to it you can never quite figure out but you know it really addresses and touches on the human condition. I think charles schulz is as an important artistic figure as warhol and more important than most of the abstract expressionists whose paintings are now mostly relegated to closets in museums.I will never accept that peanuts was anything but high art and that it's creator was an artist who deserves to have a piece in the Louvre. (he does have a piece in the Louvre FYI)

methodology

Michelangelo always started his projects by working on the easiest aspects first and slowly building up to the more difficult. I do the same thing but only out of laziness and avoidance of the more difficult parts of any art commission.

stamp 2

Here is another stamp I converted to glass. I love this design. The original stamp was very roughly rendered so that is why my image is not a precise and perfect image but a piece that is close to original stamp.

stamp etching

Here is one stamp I etched today....The writing here is true to the original stamp as it has a slightly hand drawn feel to it. I like when things have a hand drawn feel and not a cold computer digital rendered look. I started with the easy stamps first to build up to the harder ones. Bad photo of the piece, sorry...

stamps

finished two stamps today...photograph in a few and upload....

stamps

I have to etch eight stamps onto glass by friday...I will try to get photos before I hand them off....this deadline is beyond words. Here is just one of the stamps....

song for a sunday

play the song.

sunday update

I painted a lot yesterday so I did not have to think about this coming week and the horrid deadline I am facing regarding my glass stamp project. Dali once said an artist must be able to paint a pear in the midst of rape and pillage. (tune out the world around you.)I look at painting in much the same way a child builds a furniture tent indoors when It is storming outside. I hope I am not the only person who did that as a child, but for me art is a place to hide from the world outside. My goal is to be done by 100% by Halloween. After that I will prepare for art Basel in Miami.

the holy grail

In my favorite museum (the Met in NYC) there is a chalice that many consider the actual Holy Grail....neat fact, isn't it? I have no opinion except to share that fact. It holds two quarts (which is the correct amount for passover.) I will of course place this in my last supper! My blog is like school but different.

Titan

Saturn's largest moon is titan. it is a nice place to visit as the avg. temp is 300 degrees below zero and has steady rain. The reason I posted this is I think this is the nicest image I have seen in three years. I cant stop staring at it. It is even better than an original gardega.

last supper

In the end I want the last supper to have a slight surrealism to it, a tinge of hyper reality. That is what I want to achieve. I think it is starting to have the faint smell of where I wish to go with it.

last supper

I am finally seeing some light. By tonight all the left side figures will be finished. Next week is a tough week because I have four days to make 8 postage stamps in glass and the difficulty is off the charts so I will be buried and bruised until next sat when I will emerge and finish my last supper. I am learning a lot as I paint this piece so that is one nice aspect of it. One thing I learned is be careful what battles you choose. I hate leaving things undone so I am in this until the camera rolls. I have no regrets about it either as I believe in the validity of the statement and philosophy behind the piece.

flat file

I always try to support my local art store instead of some big corporate entity. I was recently rewarded by them with this gift. It is a file they used to sell arches paper (a very high end paper for drawing and watercolor) they offered it to me to store my drawings and art in and I jumped at the offer. I have ruined more drawings in my life because I am always cramming them somwhere or stepping on them. Thanks Riebes art supplies...

outdoor media

Since I was discussing art vs. media vs. nature I decided to look again at my media study in the great outdoors.

the cynical police

I have a good fan/friend/ collector who always calls me when I slip into the dark town of cynicism.


thanks for calling barry.

the constitution (unfinished)

Dalis melting clocks were inspired by the consistency of Camembert cheese. My "Melting Constitution " was inspired by the consistency of the mind of Dali. At The Final Supper of the establishment media the American Constitution is merely a place- mat. A crumb collector, a surreal object that is slowly melting (being rendered obsolete) as Americans are spoon fed media sugar and turned into intellectual diabetics.

apostle 6

the mind of alex does not like compromise. In order to finish things on deadline often must accept less than perfection. I would prefer to have months on my last supper but that is not possible. It is enough for me to dance on the stage with the fine concept of "media as religion" to know that she is good dancer and a solid partner created by a mind that is a able to cut through the fog of modern life and distill her essence into a wine that is palatable to the taste of the masses. I am informing the masses here so it necessary to work big, grand and to don the soiled and worn out shoes of pop art to sell my point. I could spend months on faces alone but I forge ahead towards a greater good and look at the importance of "the whole." It is the forest I care about here, the trees are but ameans to my end.

apostle one and two (unfinished)

apostle 3

Shall we feast on the bread of the national psyche,
and drink the blood of malleable minds?
Shall we wake from a national slumber
numbed and dumbed and media dined.
neither left nor nor right nor middle damned
I hold the truth in painted hands
a religion born of pixels, a ritual decline
The bread is surely broken
the message is the wine.




--a.gardega

apostle number 5

My camera is taking blurry photos. But I care not as my painting is sharp and sound and cares not about the photo that unveils it to you.

update on last supper friday

If you ever want to paint like me it is important to keep the symbolic bread of wisdom next to you. I hang my bread on the wall as opposed to a horseshoe which is best when it is a crab and not a symbol of luck but rather a symbol of salvation and genius.

peace prize

It is much more important to save art than to save the environment. I do love nature and the environment and spend much time in nature. However, Dali should be awarded the peace prize for his efforts to save art from the climate change towards modernism. Without true art mankind will fumble about in the dark like a beggar looking for a dark alley to sleep in. I fear global stupidity much more than global warming and the melting icecaps of media will flood us with the waters of pop-culture and fear. One must learn to row against the swollen current and strengthen the muscle of individual thought and psychological freedom. Dali was a lighthouse on the sea of false art and empty paintings. I recommend al gore hand off his prize to Dali!

horseshoe crab

I went outside this morning and realized there were only four horseshoe crabs on my porch (not the usual five.) Having an even number of h.crabs does a man no good! I thought a friend may have taken one as a joke but no one ever comes over here unannounced. Then I found a squirrel running back to take another! I chased him off and wandered how and why a squirrel would steal a 10 inch crab from my porch, maybe for nesting?

link

link

right brain left brain

a friend sent me a great link today.

ny times

this was written in the nineties---my god....it explains the medusa piece.


click here for article

all those years ago

when I was just starting out in art I was supported by a great gallery in NYC. We have decided to start working together again. Here is a piece I made so many years ago!!! I love the owner of this gallery as he was always 100% with me. I have heard many stories of galleries doing awful things to artists. I made this piece initially for a show about womans hair that I will include in my next post. This piece was reviewed in the NY Times.

cfm gallery

michelangelo

update on earlier post---I forgot to mention, Michelangelo did not start work on st. peters until he was seventy years old. (The avg. life span back the was forty.) He worked like a genius mule until his death 17 years later.

silicon heart

There is no salvation in digital anything. Digital has done as much damage to art as katrina did to new orleans. Katrina tore away a chunk of our national soul from us and digital art has done the same. It has neutered and homogenized art into a milk that is without taste, without soul. There will never be a louis armstrong on an electric trumpet , nor a cartier bresson with a digi cam. There is an essential warmth, a humanity that bits and bytes will never process or emulate. The very thing that separates us from machines is what will one day save us from them.

update on last supper

It would be easy for me to take the time to take better photos but I already dislike showing work in progress so I will hide behind bad photos a bit while I work on my "moby dick." For me it is always the last 7/ 8ths of a painting when I make it sing. Some artists keep it cooking the whole time, I fight paintings tooth and nail until the end. I never give up so my paintings have to learn to surrender to me. I have 100 plus hours now into my piece.

michelangelo

This is Michelangelo's dome at st. peters in rome. I would like to share some info regarding the dome. Michelangelo designed this dome to be a true semi- circle. It was completed after his death and was altered to be "stretched up" a bit, (so it stood taller.) It is no longer a true semi- circle and therefore not really his dome. I find this very interesting and a bit insulting to "the man." If you are ever in st. peters think of Michelangelo's dome with an asterisk. Maybe now the person who keeps calling me dude can grow some culture in his-petri dish mind and upgrade his vocabulary to sir alex.

comment

some sent me the following comment today----

Dude, your blog is one of the most politically slanted available! Fox News, and its hosts, for example are deplored as a right-wing mouthpiece, and really it is.

Annex Canada and Mexico by force, that's what I say.

I really have to laugh about it first and respond second. My point with the last supper painting is the idea of media being the new religion. It has replaced the church and ritual and art. I chose fox because I find it visually appealing as a surrealist. It is not a right or left statement, it is about the establishment media and where is stands in our lives. Anyone caught up in right/ left issues regarding it is missing the point. I am comforted by the fact the people who leave such comments always hide behind the courageous time-honored cloak of anonymous and begin their comments with dude. I guess my paintings are slanted because I never bring up politics on my site.

politics

I never let politics enter into my blog. I have one issue that concerns me and should be something americans are informed about as a whole. There is an effort underway to combine canada, the us, and mexico into a north american union. This is information which I think is valuable to the left or right and anyone in between. If we lose american sovereignty we lose the constitution and the bill of rights. We will then eventually fall under the jurisdiction of a global government which will make 1984 look like Seurat's famous painting a sunday afternoon in the park. One only need to go to you tube to find out reams of info about the plans for the NAU. Only one candidate has thus far spoken out against this union. There is already a currency planned as well called the amero. Lou dobbs is the only establishment media figure railing against this concept. I always feel like I stepped into a dirty puddle when I bring up anything political on any level. I feel this issue is far beyond left or right politics. Information is power.

last supper

I am getting closer to finishing all the faces of my last supper. I am feeling less overwhelmed and see some daylight creeping across the creaky wooden floor of life . Most of the faces have taken shape and many are finished. The devil lies in the details and when the faces are done the detail will be mostly handled. My camera batteries are dead as usual so I will shoot it tomorrow for an update. Generally, I would like three straight months to make this size piece (not a month of oft interrupted work.) The good thing is that I have some offers to show this piece in Art Basel Miami which is nice. Life is like a drum, the tighter and thinner you are stretched, the truer the tone produced.

miami art fair

I will be flying to miami in first week of dec. A gallery there will be opening with some of my glass work. There is a big art event that goes on in miami every year and it will be good to be down there to explore the event. I may stop by and say hi to one of my old art school class mates who does tattoos on the miami ink TV show. (We both dropped out of art school together.) My last supper may also be in a different gallery in miami for the art fair.

here is the info about the very famous miami art fair.

http://www.artbaselmiamibeach.com/ca/cc/ss/

last supper update

here is latest update of painting. I have some time to paint before my glass is ready to work on for my stamp commission. This photo is a tad blurry but I have no time to re-shoot.

last supper

I found a website called inside cable news which has some discussion about my painting. It brings to mind a dali quote " It is not necessary for people to know where I am coming from just as it is not necessary for dali to know where he is coming from"

http://insidecable.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/oooooook-2/

purple dawn

I decided to finally start selling some work again when I get the chance I will upload more images. This is explained on ebay.

link to buy:


http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290168497377&ssPageName=ADME:L:LCA:US:1123

gardens

There were amazing gardens on the property, I have no idea what kind of flowers these are.

mushrooms

In some parts of the woods the temperature would drop by 10-15 degrees. It was like walking into a wall of god's air conditioning at times. These were some mushrooms growing on the side of a rock I found. Cliche photo--- but so are most photos.

I found these empty chairs upon arrival and thought that they were interesting when you think of all the souls who have come and gone and spent a brief moment in peace on a porch away from the madness of modern life.

light through a leaf.

It is easy to miss out on the details of nature's beauty when your eyes are are focused on the larger canvas.

cliffs

These are cliffs overlooking lake Mohonk. I will make a watercolor of this soon.

a day in the country

I took a much needed day off and went up to the country with my parents, brother and sister. It is a rare occurrence when my family can step out of their own orbits and get their schedules together so I decided that It was worth sneaking out of the studio for a day. We traveled up to the New Palz, NY area to the Mohonk mountain house. I had never been before and it was a truly great experience. I wont over-explain the environment, I will let the pictures do that. I was lazy and did not draw but I did take photos. I feel like a cheat when I am snapping digi photos and not drawing. I do feel ike a day in the country can really re-charge your psychic batteries.

update

I have been painting away on my last supper. Da Vinci was well known for getting sidetracked and dropping one project for another. He even fled cities to avoid getting arrested for commissions he did not complete. I always try to complete what I started but I cant always control getting side-tracked. I have to take ten days now to work on making glass images of postage stamps for a stamp society in Pennsylvania. I must change my deadline for the last supper to the end of the month and it is not changing my TV appearance, I will still go on when done. This stamp job is very difficult, so on top of my painting I will be dealing with a sever deadline to make eight postage stamps in glass. I will post the images here as I finish them. Sorry for slacking on updates.

queens final

I had to make some changes as usual-- so this is the final final cover for queens yellow pages. This is the fifth time I painted this unisphere. It is left over from the 1964 worlds fair and is the first thing I remember seeing when I moved to NY from Texas as a child. For the first time I mixed photoshop and oil painting. I think I was the last artist still painting book covers with actual paint. The structure of this thing is nightmare to paint so I opted for a photoshop and oil paint approach. It is hard to keep things fresh when you have painted them many times but that is part of the challenge. Michelangelo stayed for four years on the chapel and actually got better as he progressed. So painting a small painting of the unisphere is not much of a battle!

art lesson of the day

my post yesterday is concerned with lighting and how light falls on concave objects vs. convex. I will expand later. commit this to memory in case you are ever on a quiz show.

NASA MARS CAVES

I came across this image on the NASA website that claims to have found "caves" on the Martian surface. I can't believe they are so naive. If you look closely you will that the surface markings are "raised." The light source is from the right in these photos. These are not craters but raised surface "bumps." The dark "caves" are actually shadows of raised projections. If you take a pebble and light it from the right side with a very bright light you will see what I mean. I cant believe they don't get this. It almost seems like propaganda and the F image doesnt seem to be an actual hole at all but a mistake or a black spot. i will make a drawing to show what I mean later.

dirty laundry

I hate showing work before it is done as it is never comforting to show the decisions you made before you decide they are bad decisions and throw them away. I am a very unorthodox artist and could never confirm to any thing orthodox as far as method, technique, etc. I know a hundred artist who are very methodical and careful and follow another artist like the good lord never gave them a personality or mind of their own. I paint from my gut and it goes to my hand and god made my guts so they must be good.